1 – Finding Your North Star

May you think you are utterly lost, but brush away the leaves, wait for the clouds to clear, and you’ll see your destiny shining as brightly as ever; the fixed point in the constantly changing constellations of your life.” — Martha Beck

Today we are focusing on one way to bring your professional life up a level: really figuring out your direction on where you want to go by listening to yourself in your professional life:

Many people haven’t asked themselves “where am I going?” in regard to their lives.  This is where our theme of getting after your passions and dreams comes in …

We have found  authors that share unique perspectives on how to find this path.

Today, we will share more about Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live by Martha Beck

The author talks about moving Toward Your Own North Star;

First: What is the North Star?

• A pole star is a prominent visible star which is with the Earth’s axis of rotation; that is, a star whose apparent position is close to one of the celestial North Pole.
• You can use the Big Dipper to find Polaris or North Star. To find it, notice that a line from the two outermost stars in the bowl of the Big Dipper points to Polaris. And notice that Polaris marks the tip of the handle of the Little Dipper. The northern sky is a large clock, with Polaris at its center.
• Now that you are facing north by facing the North Star, just stretch your arms out right = east left = west

Principle of the pole star is that it guides or attracts people. Was known as scip-steorra (“ship-star”) in 10th-century Anglo-Saxon England, reflecting its use in navigation.

The Theory of: An Essential Self and a Social Self

• In the beginning of the book, Martha Beck describes people as having an “essential self” and a “social self”. You need both.
• The social self is what “Everyone” thinks is the right thing to do or be; the essential self is what is right for you or your north star. So when you do things or relate to people or work that is going away from your north star you suffer in some way through self-sabotage or disappointments or bad jobs or relationships, etc. BUT when you follow your North Star things in your life flow and move to the positive. You have to learn from yourself and how you feel; where your life stands currently. In each sector like career, love, health etc. are you moving backward or forward. Identifying the types of situations and people that drain you and those that fill you with energy and enthusiasm. Learning to listen to what your aches and pains are really telling you about your life. Take negative experiences as learning material. Stop trying to be what you think you’re supposed to be, what the family wants you to be, what society says you should be.
• As you become reacquainted with your own deepest desires, you can identify and repair any unconscious beliefs or unhealed emotional wounds that may be blocking your progress.

The concept of an “essential self” and a “social self” in this book could be thought-provoking to ourselves and our listeners.

Exercise 1: what do you do that you feel you are only doing for society or what you “should be doing”?

Exercise 2: what do you do that you feel good or enjoy doing that you are “in the flow”?

Exercise: How to do feel or react with these statements? It lets you know what negative or positive self-issues you may have to repair.  

• I’m a natural born a winner always was always will be.
• The world is full of people who would love to be my friends.
• I always have plenty of money.
• I deserve a life with joy and fulfillment.
• I deserve laughter and joy.
• I’m physically beautiful and always will be.
• I can be wildly successful at my chosen career.
• I have an amazingly capable brain.
• I am perfectly lovable exactly as I am.
• I am highly creative by nature.
• My dreams can come true.

Reframe Your Story And Goal Setting

Rewrite and reframe your story as you as the problem-solving resourceful hero (not the victim)! Rewrite your story and beliefs. Read books and put up images or saying that reinforce your Hero you!

Dr. Beck  doesn’t gloss over the difficulties of creating a new life for yourself — while she points out that the mere act of goal-setting can be very powerful, she also emphasizes that achieving those goals will be a long, difficult job.

She sees life changes as cyclic. Some books seem to imply that, once you’ve created a new life for yourself, you’ll be settled for the rest of your days. That’s just not true. There are moments of “death” in life, whether it’s triggered by an actual physical death of someone we love, a life altering event or even the last child leaving the “nest,” we change and grow and our life becomes something different than what it was before.

The theory of: Following Your Intuition

Martha Beck teaches you how to recognize and clear thought patterns that hinder you from reaching your full potential, as well as how to follow and recognize your inner guidance system; i.e. your intuition.

She uses the word “inner compass” a lot, and she shows us how to use our own inner compass to guide us to what it is we really want. We all have gifts, and she helps us see that we need to use them.

Exercise: If you can finish the following sentence, “I was always meant to become___________.” you will know what your “north star” is. No one can fill in the blank for you. No one, including Beck, can give you your “inner compass.”

The Theory of: Four Life-Altering “Squares” to make the changes in your life

The author bases her approach on four life-altering “squares” – death and rebirth, dreaming and scheming, the hero’s saga, and the promised land – as stepping stones we must move through on our path to reinvent ourselves and find our true direction. Typically, she notes, the progression through these four stages is instigated by a life-changing “catalyst” of some sort – perhaps something external, perhaps something internal, perhaps sudden, and perhaps not so sudden. In any case, there are many thoughtful suggestions for each “square” that help guide one through them, and anticipate all the conflicts, trials, etc. that one will likely encounter.

Think about:

• having an “essential self” and a “social self”.
• recognize your inner guidance system; i.e. your intuition.
• approach on four life-altering “squares”
• [Something died and you need a change]
• [Now what could your change look like?]
• [Now find out what works through small failures and successes]
• [Now lean it down by only doing what works for you]
  

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