4 – Work on That Confidence With Mary Michael
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Innovate Your Life with Mary Michael. Thank you so much for joining me today. My name is Mary Michael and here help you win at life through mini-innovate blue prints to support your efforts to save time and energy to do more of what you most love to do in life.
Today we are talking about confidence! We have come up with 10 ways to work on that confidence. Think of confidence like one of your muscle groups you got to work on it just like your other muscle groups.
I also say in my business life – We all need a degree in confidence! Seriously why don’t they teach this to you in school?
In business very few succeed without confidence. Yet we all have moments – from our first job to even seasoned leaders where we are uncertain in our ability to take on a new challenge. There is no magic cure or drug that can create immunity to these bouts of insecurity in work or life … but they don’t have to hold you back.
“Confidence equals security equals positive emotion equals better performance,” says Tony Schwartz, the president and CEO of The Energy Project and the author of Be Excellent at Anything: The Four Keys to Transforming the Way We Work and Live.
And yet he also says that “insecurity plagues consciously or subconsciously every human being I’ve met.”
How do we overcome this self-doubt?
It starts with take a true assessment of your abilities (and your weakness or what I like to say as shortcomings) and then getting comfortable enough to benefit from them,
Here’s how to do that and get into the confidence building cycle.
Are you ready to get to work on that confidence? Oh I am so pumped.
Here is 10 ways that I have identified to give that confidence a workout! That’s right we need to work out with confidence. Let’s get to work.
#1 Stay in Your Bubble and Stand Up for Yourself
“Stay in Your Bubble” is what I told my athlete as she ran her first half marathon … don’t compare yourself to those that may pass you … you are you and this is your race!
Don’t Care What Others Think
How many times have you been told you can’t achieve that goal?
Was it a rejection from employers? Maybe you didn’t get into a school? Was it negative feedback from family or friends?
People have opinions and bias and they are probably more insecure than you. So they might say that Goal is crazy, or you are not ready or you just can’t do it
Get some noise blocking head phones and stay in your bubble!
While everyone is telling you the odds are against you – THEY ARE WRONG! As are most people – they are wrong!
Don’t listen and stay in your bubble and keep going!
If you think you can do it, you can.
Just like Disney said “If you can dream it, you can do it”
Talking about saying in that bubble
I want you to Question your inner critic. Kill negative thoughts!
Some of our worst comments come from ourselves. That little voice that says “you can’t do it.” We all struggle with this … let’s be real when we are tired and someone has said something about the work you are doing that inner critic comes out and becomes a total overactive and inaccurate jerk.
What are strategies to shut up the inner critic that is a total jerk?
Look for evidence to support or deny the things your inner critic is telling you.
What evidence is there to support the thought I am a failure? Or even better what evidence shows that I am not a failure but a superstar?
This is what they call cognitive behavior therapy. Use it to your power.
So ready I am not a failure because I didn’t land a deal, but I found 10 other opportunities and potential leads today. I am awesome.
Look for those negative bugs and kill them with that positive bug spray. That’s right don’t let them get past you. Replace it with a positive thought.
Reward your small successes and stay in that bubble. Every mile my athletes ran during that half mile I told them to do a happy jump and visualize their happy jump at each mile.
Don’t Focus excessively on whether you or not you have the ability – think instead about the value you provide
#2 – Think Long-term
Chase your happiness create goals for the long term
Unhappiness decisions are made for short-term comfort that can impede our long term goals
Discipline yourself to think more important about the long term goals than short term comfort
Goals require sacrifices but pay off with pride and feeling it was worth it
What will it feel like to cross the finish line of a half marathon? The race is the easy part it is the 16 to 20 weeks of training that is the hard part but totally worth it.
What will it feel like to go on vacation? Can we push just a little bit harder to get to that rest week
So lay the foundation
- Where do you want to go in life?
- What are you goals this Year?
- Can you visualize success?
#3 – Visualize yourself as how you want to be.
“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill
We used to have to do visualization in swimming. I would visualize what success meant. Every day I would visualize what it meant to swim well. I would visualize my race from the time I walked up to the block, entered the water, made the first stroke, the first breath, did a flip turn and touched the wall.
Flash forward to today. Before I set the stage and get an audience engaged, I visualize what it means to get people motivated to do great work and truly be great leaders. I visualize being able to relay a message and slowing down to hit the key points.
Visualization is the technique of seeing an image in your own mind of yourself that you are proud or honored by. Practice visualizing an awesome version of yourself, achieving your goals.
#4 – Get it Done!
Get Things Done. Confidence is built on accomplishment.
No matter if you achieve small and big goals, reward yourself start to feel better.
Just like Michael Hyatt’s Focus Planner, It begins with your day-to-day goals. What do you need to accomplish today?
Then think bigger – this week? Next three days? Will this help meet your goal?
Think even bigger with monthly, bi-annual and yearly goals
Reward progress and do retrospectives
Remember big changes don’t happen overnight
Set ambitious goals you believe you can meet.
What are you waiting for … get your goals done! Believe in yourself.
Talking about getting it done. Did you do affirmations?
Allow yourself to Affirm your beliefs.
Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. This is a powerful tool to not only getting work done but starting your day off right. We believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly.
So if you tell yourself when you are on video how much you hate your imagine … appreciate that you are delivering a message.
Let your brain accept positive statements more quickly and start questions with a positive “why am I so good at _______”
“Why am I so good at what I do?” Our brains are wired to seek answers to questions without analyzing if the question is true or not. … Maybe that is why we have a problem with fake news.
#5 – Be fearless and do one thing that scares you everyday
Do one thing that scares you every day.
We are all afraid to fail. It cripples innovation. Thomas Edison took 1000 tries before he made his innovation of the light bulb work… image a world with no light if he stopped.
“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” — T. Harv Eker
So guess what the best way to overcome that fear?
Do one thing that scares you everyday. From experience and gaining confidence from each experience you will see your self-confidence come to a new level.
Get out of that comfort zone and get comfortable being uncomfortable.
#6 – Set yourself up to win
You can’t wake up one morning and say I am going to run a marathon with zero training.
Ok unless you are having a mid-life crisis as most of my athletes said when they realized they wanted to do an Ironman triathlon (one of the hardest races in the world) with years of being chained to a desk. Yes they moved to a coach willing to take their money and within 2 months – they had increased their mileage too much too soon and became injured and totally self defeated. Did they set themselves up to win? NO.
Instead start with a simple 5k then build up to a 10k and from each tiny success keep yourself going for the longer win.
Once you have a stream of success then you can feel good about yourself. You can then move on to a harder goal and keep going up to the next level.
Instead of to do lists … create I did lists. Redirect on major accomplishments to reinforce skills.
#7 – Help someone else
When we help someone else we forget about ourselves and feel grateful for what we have.
We also make a difference. Instead of focus on your weakness, support someone else become a mentor or a teacher.
So for instance – listen to someone else and when you hear an opportunity to help, make a connection.
#8 – Track your progress
Break those goals down into smaller chunks and track them.
I love Strava … I track my health and fitness goals on this app and I can see my progress.
For work, we use a methodology called Agile and this is a way to break a project into bite size projects and put them into sprint cycles of accomplishment. Then we look back at the progress and determine what we can do better.
Try to quantify your accomplishments, the number of features created, number of applications you are submitting, the number of face to face meetings, etc.
Monitor that progress. Determine what is working and what is not working.
There is a method I call 5-5-5 when you are trying to accomplish a career change to track my progress. Each week, I try to make 5 phone calls, 5 resumes, and 5 emails … you name it put a number to it.
#9 – Exercise
There are known benefits and physical health helps with not only general health but confidence.
Just like in the airplane – they say put your oxygen mask on before helping others.
Staying active and taking time for yourself helps you!
Exercising helps: memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress and prevents depression.
There is no excess energy so it is harder to be anxious, there is nothing to draw upon. It teaches us to be uncomfortable and improves every aspect of your life.
#10 – Do more of what makes you happy
Where is your happy place?
As Bob Ross would get into painting his oil paintings with a happy little tree or “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.”
What do you love to do in your spare time?
Whatever it is you love to do, please create space for it, because life is short- you need time to to recharge to be your best self.
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