Becoming a Life Manager or Caregiver (Action Steps to Take)

Becoming a Life Manager or Caregiver (Action Steps to Take)

   Caregiver Connecting with others Family Life Life Balance Mindset time management    July 31, 2017  |  0

Within six months of my father’s sudden death, I became my mother’s life manager.  My mother had broken her hip and her leg and had learned that she had recurrent cancer.  I soon found that being a life manager is a full-time job, so I gave myself a family leave from my consulting business.

Action Steps for Caregivers / Life Managers:

  • Prioritize your wellbeing.

    • I enrolled in a physical fitness program for scheduled exercise 2-to-3 times weekly for at least 30 minutes at a time.
    • I took an eight-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course, and I committed to daily mindfulness meditation for 15-to-30 minutes a day.
    • I am mindful about my nutrition choices to assure I am fueling my energy well.

 

  • Be fully present with your loved one.

    • When I visit with my mother, I hug her, give her a kiss, hold her hand and look into her eyes. I tell her that I love her.  I reminisce about good times.  I thank her for being such a special mother.  I sit in silence.  I ask about her squirrels and birds that visit her from her windows. I take her for a drive or a stroll.  My visits are daily during the week for 2-to-5 hours at a time.

 

  • Engage family, friends, all support networks.

    • Many people said they would like to help. In time, I became comfortable reaching out to them and accepting their help.  I tend to leave weekends open for others to visit and spend time with my mom.

 

  • Live with new purpose.

    • I began to see myself as a shepherd with the special role of sharing my mother’s journey in her last years of life. It has become my turn to take her by the hand and walk with her offering comfort and love wherever the journey takes us and for however long it is.

 

  • Trust and let go.

    • You do not have the power to control your loved one’s destiny. You need to let go for a period of time every day to remind yourself that you are not God.  You will find it liberating to remember that there are forces more powerful than you.

 

  • Live life and take guilt-free vacations

    • Once the previous steps have become habits, you are ready to live life and take guilt-free vacations whenever you can. You will need time away to regain your energy and reinvigorate your soul.  It may be a few hours or a day here and there or week or a month here and there.  Whenever the opportunity presents itself, take your vacation.  It will be guilt-free because you will know in your heart that you are living fully committed to your loved one, remembering that your loved one would not want you to stop living.

Do you have experience being a caregiver? Share your thoughts below in the comment section. What works and what doesn’t?

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