Host Family Interview Guide: Finding The Perfect Fit to Your Pit Crew

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Hello and Welcome (Done by Host Family)

Decide how you want to start the call but here is how I start but think about how to sell a potential au pair to your family … “Thank you for joining me on this phone call we are excited to meet you and see if this is a good fit Let me start with an introduction and then I have questions that will hopefully help us get to know each other.” If we find any synergies after today’s call, we would like to schedule time to meet your parents – are you ok with that?”

• Introduction: My name is _________ My family has ____ kids and their ages are _____________
• We live in ____________________ Our closest major city is ____________________
• Let me tell you a little more about our town and what makes it so special

Personal Info and Intentions of potential Au Pair

These are my ice breaker questions to understand the ‘why’ are they doing this program and do they have support.

• Describe your hometown and where you live. Where are you living now?
• Why did you sign up for the au pair program? What do your parents think about you joining the au pair program? Are they supportive? What do your friends think about your choice? Are they supportive?
• What do you want to do after the au pair program? (If they have a goal in mind – awesome, if they don’t ask more questions and make sure they are here for the right reasons.)
• Is there a place you want to live in the USA? Or are you looking for the right family fit?
• How do you think speaking English will help you in life?
• Do you have any food allergies or preferences? Do you have any allergies to pets or animals?
• What is your favorite movie? Do you have favorite tv shows? What are your favorite sports? Favorite books? Favorite color? What are your hobbies?
• Do you smoke? How often? Do you smoke in a social setting or with friends?
• Do you drink alcohol? – How often? Do you smoke in a social setting or with friends?
• Have you applied with other agencies? Did you get rejected from the other agencies? Why?

History with Au Pair’s Family

This just helps me understand if the family had values. Please remember everyone is extremely different in how they answer and there is no right or wrong answer, it just helps gain an understanding of their upbringing.

• What do you like most about the time you spend with your family in your home country?
• How do you think your friends and family would describe your personality?
• Do you have brothers and sisters? Step parents?
• If you are comfortable doing so, could you share and tell us a bit about your childhood and your relationship with your family?

The role of Au Pair

Send your letter of what it means to be part of our family after the first interview.

Explain the role again. Make sure they are aligned with expectations. A lot of times they are just excited to have the opportunity to come and will say anything that fits what you are looking for … others may know exactly what they want.

• Did you have a chance to read the ‘letter of what it means to be part of our family’? Do you have questions? Were there any concerns you would like to address?
• As part of the au pair program you will work up to 45 hours per week. Have you ever worked a full time job like this before? How many hours a day did you work? Did you work multiple jobs?
• The hours might be different every week including weekends. We will always try to our best to give you the schedule one week in advance. Are you comfortable providing that much flexibility?
• What chores do you do in your household now? How do you contribute to your household?

Fit With the Family

Religion

• Are you religious? What religion and what family traditions does your family celebrate?
• What are some important dates to your family? (Just to keep in mind because — Birthdays, death anniversaries, cultural holidays, religious holidays, etc. à the au pair may start to feel homesick around these days and want to encourage them to check in with the family at this time.)

Ideals & Expectations

• Can you describe your ideal host family?
• Are you searching for a desired location to live in the USA? Or are you looking for a good fit with a family?
• How do you think you will fit into our lifestyle and house?
• Are you more organized and like rules and a fixed set of responsibilities, or do you like to be creative and set your own tasks?

Driving

Please adapt the questions to your own needs, vehicle type and driving expectations (ex. local vs highway driving) and set expectations of what you will be expecting.

• How long have you been driving? How often? Where do you drive?
• Have you ever been in a car accident? Were you driving?

Childcare experience

• What were the ages of the children for whom you cared for? What were specific responsibilities? (refer to one job in particular)
• What was the most difficult part of the job? What did you like most about the job?
• What do you like most when taking care of children?
• What do you find most challenging about caring for children?
• How many hours are you used to caring for a child? What would be the maximum hours you could take care of child before you need a break?
• How would you discipline a child who misbehaves?

Room Mate and Health Concerns

Disclaimer: USE AT YOUR OWN RISK. These are sensitive and please use at your discretion. Please always consult with an agency or J-1 Au Pair Program rules. See our website for all disclaimers.

Since we would be potential sharing the same home – I think it would be helpful to understand if there are any concerns from a roommate perspective we need to manage. I will tell you my biggest fear are caregivers with cold sores and most people are unaware of how they are spread!

Health Concerns

• Do you have any communicable diseases that we should be aware about? For example, do you have a disease that my family could potential get from you? (Example: cold sores, HIV, HEP A, B, C, STDs, etc.)

Room Mates

• Would you be willing to contribute and teach us about your country’s cuisine by helping prepare dinner for the family once a week?

COVID-19 Concerns and Social Distancing Rules

Let’s just say life is a little more difficult with having to ensure that not only your family is safe but now we have to see the risk tolerance of a young adult. Here are the best questions that I have come up with:

• What do you think about COVID-19?
• How are you staying social during Covid-19? How are you meeting up with your friends?
• What rules have you put in place for yourself to manage the risk of spread? Have your mom or dad put any rules in place? Do you wear a mask when out in public?

Questions for the Parents

Interviewing the parents has been my key to gaining a better reference of the incoming au pair. All the parents that I have interviewed have actually enjoyed the conversation and really welcomed this opportunity. This is also a great way to get another perspective on a couple of the questions that were asked earlier.

What if the parents don’t speak English? Ask the au pair to translate or find a friend that is fluent in the language and can offer support in translation. Another way that I have done is to use Google Translate and share your screen … it is not as productive as a conversation but it can give a perspective and a way to watch body language and watch if they smile or show interest.

Should the au pair be present? Yes, you want to see how he / she interacts with his/her parents and also can help with translation. Also a great way to watch body language between the au pair and parents.

Set up the call by saying, “Thank you for joining this call. We are excited to finally meet you. These questions are a discussion – it helps up get to know you and your family better and allow us to share our family.”

• What do you think about the au pair program? Do you (parents) support the au pair program? What do you think of being away from your son or daughter for a year?
• What are you most proud of the accomplishments of your son or daughter?
• What is their favorite food? What meals do you eat together as a family?
• What is their style of communication? How do you best communicate to your son or daughter?
• Organization and order to chaos: On a scale of 1 to 10 – 1 means they are not organized and 10 means super organized. What number would you give to your son or daughter? Can you give me an example?

Current Au Pair to Potential Au Pair Questions

Only do this if you have a good relationship with your current au pair and that they have a vested interest in helping your family choose the right fit. To help guide the discussions ask your current au pair to find out more details.

• Do you think that this person would be a good fit for our family?
• How would you rate this potential au pair to you? (On a scale of 1 to 10 being a good fit for our family, knowing what you know now… how would you rate yourself? (ask current au pair) then ask to rank potential au pair against the current au pair) I am always surprised by the results …

Rematch Questions to Current Host Family

This is a big opportunity to uncover a lot … the current host parents have a lot to say if given the chance. Typically, the agency will try to hide the other party or downplay their side of the story or say, “the other host family would like to remain out of the rematch situation and is not available for interview.” Remember the agency makes money when the au pair is here every month and esp. with a crisis on J-1 visas they are going to do everything to keep an au pair in the system. Press the point with the agency, you are not interested till you get the contact information or they schedule a meeting with the current host family. When they are desperate to find placement, they will do this … get them motivated. (I have almost matched with a serious disaster that was great at lying.)

• Is this your first au pair? How long have you been with this agency?
• Why are you in rematch? What did the agency forget to put in their paperwork about this au pair?
• If the agency says, “family is leaving the program” – ask if this is true and then ask why? Sometimes you will be surprised it is something that the au pair did that was the last straw.
• What is most concerning about this au pair? What did the agency not support you with?

Final Thoughts

• Did you check the personality profile? Standard is DISC. Usually most au pair agencies have a standard type of personality test for the au pair. If you agency does not have a test then visit:
  • Free DISC test: https://www.123test.com/disc-personality-test/
  • DISC Assessment: https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc/overview/
  • Example: if I am a DI then I need the opposite to be in my team which would be an SC. I have a lot of dominance and influence in the family and with my most successful au pairs and nannies have had a “SC” which is steadiness and compliance.