Podcast Episode 5 – Work Life Balance

Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.
Betsy Jacobson

Today we are discussing Work Life Balance and what I call boundary management. Integration of life balance – how do we deal with the rush of life? There is only so much time in the day and what takes priority? There is only so much time in the day and energy to deal with the responsibilities of life. This has been a dilemma but creates an opportunity of creating goals for everything that we want to accomplish and drive focus.

As a mom of two, I sometimes have guilt that I am working full time, but I know that my mission in life is more than just being a mom but helping serve others and allowing more care takers in my life to help guide my children and teach new skills. While I know it is choices we make and yes I do wish companies would give more maternity leave as needed but also paternity leave. It is not easy some days when I wake up at the wee hours of the morning to get the day going and by the time I get to the office I have to transition my mind from home life to professional life. It becomes this delicate balance where sometimes I wish had more hours to give both lives. That is where it becomes a yin and yang. Where family may take more hours one day and work may have to fit around that schedule.

What questions we plan to answer:

• What is a sample routine where we can maximize our time?
• How do we manage the balance of life with work? How do we manage all the connections in life?
• How do we come up with a plan? How do we solve our struggles?

Mary – Trying to Achieve a Balance

Ok I have to confess, the word ‘work life balance’ is a little overused and there is not really an ideal state as the term seems to imply.

I honestly have never reached an ‘ideal state’ of balance as it feels that there is one of me and I have to create process to create order and constantly manage and direct others. Sounds much like my work never leaves me, I create more work to achieve those goals.

So how do we manage all of this home life and work life?

Here are my top 5 ways to try to achieve daily sanity.

1. Mindset – we covered this in the episode #3, but it is critical to keep positive and mindful of the moment
2. Keeping your cool – even when both your kids are screaming and you are trying  to record a podcast or just even try to eat dinner yourself. Just take a deep breath and try to laugh it off. This actually will help your kids learn to keep cool, seeing that they can’t get a reaction out of you.
3. Establish processes that you can educate others in your life – label your system for organization, educate others while it is not always intuitive – sometimes record a video or tape lists all over … this will help free your time so you are not the bottle neck
4. Set boundaries for rest and relaxation – weekends are for family time and I rarely will answer an email, set quiet hours on the phone, what are you going to plan for down time? We have the tendency to always help others, but you have to be generous to yourself. Remember you are an asset to your household and we can’t afford to have a person down. What do you need to take care of your self?
5. Set a daily plan of attack – what is a priority and what can wait. You are air traffic control. You choose which  is cortical task to land and which one to keep in flight. Here is what I do: I look at my schedule first thing in the day and I decide what I need to prepare and what is critical and not critical or if meetings need to get moved to allow for the most productivity. Some meetings can wait. Can you maximize your time in your car or commute?

Why is it important to invest in your support network?

I gave an example of recording training videos, here are some more ideas to help delegate in your life:

• Screen capture – did you invent a process?
• Operating models – do you have some in your household?
• Can you give tours of all the important safety features?

Summary Five Action Items

1. Mindset –keep positive and mindful of the moment
2. Keeping your cool – remember not everything is critical you be the filter
3. Establish processes that you can educate others in your life – so it could be task lists, shared list on aps, recording videos, etc.
4. Set boundaries for rest and relaxation – Are you going to leave at 5 pm? Are you going to check email? Set quiet hours on your phone?
5. Set a daily plan of attack – what is a priority and what can wait

Linda – Building a life plan

Situation:  Since leaving the corporate environment several years ago, I began writing an annual Life Plan.  It changed my life’s course.  In my first year post-corporate, I came to appreciate how swiftly time can be consumed with random activity when time was unplanned and uncommitted.

When I didn’t have a plan and someone asked if I could join their group or support a project, I would often do so.  Inevitably the group’s mission was worthy and the project was of interest.  But before I knew it, I was a cog helping groups and people advance their goals while not advancing mine or feeling very satisfied.

I had clear goals in my mind but I had not taken the time to write down the steps that would lead to achieving the goal, and I did not consider the time commitment for each step.  Once I put everything down on paper and populated my calendar accordingly, I began living my life fully and deliberately.

Action steps:

• Take time to think about what you treasure most about your life, what makes you feel energized, what gives you satisfaction, and what you hope to achieve or experience in your life
• Consider a theme for your year.  Something inspirational and motivational.
• I began with life sectors including emotional, spiritual, physical health and wellbeing, financial wellbeing, and intellectual growth.
• Next I developed specific goals for each sector for the year.  Then I determine steps to take to get closer to each goal.  The steps have to be measurable and time-bound.
• Then each quarter I consider how I’m doing and what I may need to adjust.
• The result has been that I end each year with a deep sense of fulfillment and I feel energized with the activity rather than fatigued.
• Formalizing a plan also provides great assistance with decision-making.  Before I commit to an activity, I consider whether it will get me closer or further from a goal.

Questions:

• How much time does it take to create a plan?
• Isn’t it a rigid way to live your life?  Does it leave room for fun and spontaneity?
• When do you start preparing your annual plan?
• How do you recommend beginning?

Melissa- Trying to resolve your negative feelings

Work-Life Balance: Guilt about Not Getting Enough Done

I wanted to discuss today is when you have some negative feelings about your self regarding your life work balance and how to resolve them.

Linda talk creating a life plan was fantastic. Everyone should have an annul life plan. As Linda said in order to help your work-life balance you first have to define what is meaningful for you.  Not what your parents taught you or what you think you should do. And don’t use busyness to define self-worth. Meaningful is what makes you feel alive or joy or love. Each person has to spend time writing out what is meaningful for them in their life.

But what if you already sat down and figured what is meaningful to you in the categories of your annual life plan like home, family, friends, work, spirituality, finances, etc. and you are still are feeling guilty or negative about yourself about not getting enough done? What makes you feel guilty or bad in your life?

We are going to try to solve that by using the 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule where 80% of a project’s outcome can be achieved by doing 20% of the work? You can also look at the flip side in that 80% of problems such as guilt or bad feelings can be traced back to 20% of the causes.

So would suggest writing down all your guilt and negative feelings for each of the life plan categories: family, home, finances, work, spirituality, friends, health, etc.

Second, go through all the categories and ask yourself which one makes you feel the worst and so on and down the list prioritize them. Third, look at the guilt and bad feelings and see if there is a trend that goes through all.  Are you not preparing enough? Do you have no follow-through? Are you not doing it often enough?

In my list; family category is my highest priority (taking care of them)  and I do that pretty well. But what was making me feel the worst was my home organization and not getting enough time to do my hobby category which is plain air painting or oil painting outside. So I am working on getting those issues done.

Questions

• Do you have no follow-through? In the finance category, do you have all your cash in the lowest interest accounts? Have you researched the highest interest rate around to switch your money?
• Are you not decisive enough? In the home category, do you have too many clothes or too much stuff to pick up at night and you need to be more decisive in getting rid of stuff?
• Do you not do practice it often enough? In the health category, do you skip your exercise routine?
• Are you not preparing enough? In the family category, do you have issues getting your kids ready for school?  Do you have their clothes or breakfasts picked out for 5 days straight so there is less of a morning struggle?

So my 20% is not being decisive enough in organizing my home and not getting my painting supplies prepared so I can run out the door and steal some painting time.

In summary…

• Ask yourself where all your guilt or negative feelings come from in your life-work balance.
• Prioritize the category where your feel the worst and so on.
• Look for trends on what you are doing.
• Start working and fix only the top 20%. Only you can answer to these questions.

Leave us a comment below. Do you have any tips for creating the ideal state of ‘work life balance’?

Join our email list and follow us on our journey: